fetcha growth post-mortem by Gretchen Wieners
Fetch didn't happen. Here's exactly why.
Blameless review · For the Plastics · Winter 2004
0
(not counting me)
TL;DR
Fetch launched three times, and nobody else said it.
Status: closed after a public veto at the winter talent show.
- Launches
- 3
- Evangelists
- 1
- Veto holders
- 1
- Tables reached
- 1
What we tried
The bet: fetch becomes the word for cool by winter.
- KR1 Regina says it once 0/1
- KR2 Two more tables use it by the winter talent show 0/2
- KR3 Someone says it when I am not in the room 0/1
fetch
adj. · one syllable · rhymes with sketch
Cool. Great. Something you would want.
"Your bracelet is so fetch."
Origin Slang, from England (source: me)
The metric
Push harder, and the only line that matters stays flat.
Times I said it
975
Times anyone else did
0
SeptOctNovDec
Timeline
Three launches in one semester, and the third one ended it.
-
Week 1
Cafeteria, first lunch
Launch 1, about the new girl's bracelet. The gatekeeper asks what fetch means.
0 repeats
-
Week 2
Regina's house
Launch 2, after a prank phone call. No response logged.
0 repeats
-
Halloween
After class
Benchmark: "grool" is said by accident and repeated on the spot.
1 repeat
-
December
Winter talent show, backstage
Launch 3, about a crush. Vetoed in front of the table: it is not going to happen.
Closed
vetoed -
Next class
English
I present my Julius Caesar report. Strong feelings about Brutus. Unrelated.
A-
Root cause · five whys
It wasn't effort. It was one table and a veto.
- Root cause
We pushed a word with no pull through one person with a veto.
Network map
Fetch never left our table. Grams reached every table.
- Tables reached
- 1 of 12
- Repeats
- 0
Glen Coco got four. I got none.
Heard it, didn't repeat Veto
What we got right
The word itself was fine. It's five keys on T9.
- Consistent. One word, one meaning, three launches.
- Early. The newest student heard it on her first day.
- Disciplined. No fourth launch after the veto.
What we'd change
Next time we win the gatekeeper first and launch second.
This time
- Launch at lunch, unannounced
- Explain it when asked
- One evangelist, one table
- Count how often I say it
- Push harder after a no
Next time
- Brief the gatekeeper one-on-one first
- Lead with the job "cool" can't do
- Seed three tables in the same week
- Count repeats by other people
- Treat launch 2's silence as the answer
Decisions
We stop fetch today, keep pink Wednesdays, and start with the gatekeeper.
What we're watching next
The next word ships when someone else says it first.
- Repeatsby someone who isn't me, in week one3+
- Tablesusing it without a Plastic present3
- Gatekeeperuses it once, unpromptedYes