Pitched Unfairly

Monsters, Inc.Quarterly business review

Kids stopped screaming. We found a better fuel.

Board pre-read · Scare Floor F · Monstropolis

read before the meeting

TL;DR

A bad quarter taught us laughter is the fuel.

Screams
Below plan all quarter. Kids are harder to scare, and the city is short of power.
Incident
A child got onto the floor. The investigation ended with our CEO arrested.
Found
One laugh carries about ten times the energy of one scream.

Last quarter's priorities

Five priorities: two red, two yellow, one green.

221

  1. Hit the scream quota Below plan every week. Kids are harder to scare. Status: Red
  2. Zero 2319s on the floor A sock came back on a scarer. Then a whole child. Status: Red
  3. Keep Monstropolis powered Lights stayed on, with nothing to spare. Status: Yellow
  4. Train the next class of scarers Trainees still lose to the simulator kid. Status: Yellow
  5. Hold #1 on the scare floor Sulley led all quarter. Randall second. Status: Green

Scorecard: against plan and against trend

Scream energy finished well below plan and trend.

MetricLast QThis QChange
Scream energy, % of plan 92% 74% ▼ 18 pts
2319 alerts on the floor 0 2 ▲ 2
Children in the building 0 1 ▲ 1
Top of the leaderboard Sulley Sulley Held

Illustrative figures · the film gives none

Week 13 57% of plan ▼ 43 pts vs plan ▼ 32 pts vs last Q

Lowlights, first

Four lowlights. The worst one was in the corner office.

  1. 01 · Supply

    The scream shortage

    Kids are harder to scare. Yield fell below plan every week, and the city felt it.

  2. 02 · Safety

    A 2319 on the floor

    A child's sock came back on a scarer. The CDA shut the floor and shaved him.

  3. 03 · Security

    A child in the building

    A door was left live after hours. A toddler walked through it.

  4. 04 · Governance

    Our CEO, arrested

    He and a top scarer built a machine to extract screams from kidnapped children.

Highlights

Sulley led on screams all quarter. On laughs, Mike beats him.

same floor, new scoreboard

  1. 12 SulleyTop scarer
  2. 25 RandallScarer Left the company
  3. 33 GeorgeScarer
  4. 44 Floor averageScare Floor F
  5. 51 MikeScare assistant Assistant, not scored
Relative output, illustrative

Customer insight: what the kids are telling us

Kids aren't scared of us anymore. They think we're funny.

  1. Field report 014From: Every scarer on the floor

    Kids are harder to scare than they used to be.

    whole industry

  2. Field report 027From: Our top scarer, in confidence

    A toddler's nickname for him: "Kitty."

    not a scary name

  3. Field report 031From: Mike, from Sulley's apartment

    One giggle surged the power and blew every light.

    read this one twice

The pivot

One laugh carries ten times the energy of a scream.

Same kids, same doors, a different reaction. We stop scaring and start collecting laughs.

1 screamfills 10% of a canister
1 laughfills 100% of a canister

Next quarter

Three priorities next quarter, one owner each.

PriorityOwnerTargetBy
1Convert Scare Floor F into a laugh floor SulleyChief executive Laugh collection running on every door Month 1
2Retrain every scarer as a comedian MikeTop comedian Each scarer passes a comedy shift Month 2
3Close the investigation and audit the door vault RozCDA, undercover Every door accounted for Month 3

we score these first next time

Decisions needed today

Three motions for the board, all recommended yes.

  1. Motion 1

    Retool the scare floor for laughs

    Ten times the energy per child, from the doors we already have.

    RecommendationApprove

  2. Motion 2

    Ratify Sulley as chief executive

    He found the fix, and he exposed the last CEO.

    RecommendationApprove

  3. Motion 3

    Decommission the Scream Extractor

    Hand it to the CDA as evidence. Nothing like it gets built again.

    RecommendationApprove

Next review: end of next quarter, on the laugh floor