Pitched Unfairly

Wonka

Five golden tickets. One open door.

Launch plan · Oompa-Loompa leadership team

01 / The problem

Spies stole our recipes, so we locked the gates.

The chimneys still smoke. Nobody has seen a worker go in or out for years.

  1. Rival file 01 Fickelgruber Copied: Ice cream that never melts Stolen
  2. Rival file 02 Prodnose Copied: Gum that never loses its flavor Stolen
  3. Rival file 03 Slugworth Copied: Candy balloons you blow up huge Stolen

The insight

Nobody gets in, so everyone wants in.

02 / The campaign

Hide five Golden Tickets in ordinary bars.

Same price, same shelf, same wrapper. Tear one open and see.

Bars opened
0
Tickets found
0
Demo odds
1 in 20

Pick a bar. Any bar.

03 / The funnel

Billions of bars in. Five tickets out.

  1. Bars shipped worldwide Billions
  2. Opened by hopeful children Most of them
  3. Opened by a peanut factory, on the clock By the crate
  4. Golden Tickets inside 5
  5. What we are really looking for Classified

Odds per bar: don't ask.

04 / PR

The hunt does our press tour for free.

5of 5 tickets found

  1. 1 Augustus GloopAte bars by the dozen until one paid off
  2. 2 Veruca SaltHer father had his factory staff unwrap them
  3. 3 Violet BeauregardePut down her gum just long enough
  4. 4 Mike TeaveeFound it without looking up from the TV
  5. 5 Charlie BucketFound a coin in the snow, bought one more bar
1 2 3 4 5

05 / The experience

Five children walk in. The tour does the rest.

Children remaining

1

Grown-ups not counted.

  1. Room 1 The Gates Feb 1, 10 a.m. Five children, plus grown-ups.
  2. Room 2 Chocolate Room Drank from the river. Left by pipe. Out: Augustus
  3. Room 3 The River Boat ride through a dark tunnel.
  4. Room 4 Inventing Room Chewed the test gum. Turned blue. Out: Violet
  5. Room 5 Nut Room Wanted a squirrel. Got the chute. Out: Veruca
  6. Room 6 Glass Elevator Goes up, down, and sideways.
  7. Room 7 Television Room Sent himself by TV. Arrived small. Out: Mike
  8. Room 8 The Roof One child left. Straight up and out.

06 / The real goal

The tour is a cover. We are hiring an heir.

Mr. Wonka is not getting any younger. The ticket was the interview.

Open roleConfidential

Owner, Wonka Chocolate Factory

Pay
One factory, the whole staff, all the chocolate
Must be
A child. Grown-ups want to change everything.

Not a fit if

  • Greedy
  • Spoiled
  • Gum-obsessed
  • Glued to the TV
Screened by tour

07 / Risks

Every risk is real. We rated them all low.

RiskLikelihoodMitigationRating
Unsupervised children beside a chocolate river Certain The pipe goes to the fudge room Low
Untested three-course-dinner gum, within reach Very high Juicing room on standby Low
A child who wants a trained squirrel Very high The chute. Then hope. Low
A boy, a TV camera, and a big red button High Stretch him back in the taffy room Low
Grown-ups asking questions Constant Answer cheerfully. Keep walking. Low

The ask

Gates open February 1.

Wrap five tickets tonight. Hide them well.

Approve the launch