Pitched Unfairly

C. Darwin Naturalist · Decision notes, 1838

Marry or not marry? This is the Question.

circled in pencil, by the author

Pencil, on the back of a letter · London, July 1838

01 · The decision in one line

Should he marry, with nobody in mind?

Specimen No. 1838 · Type

Carolus Darwin

Naturalist, unattached

Age
29
At sea
Beagle, 1831 to 1836
Habitat
Great Marlborough St.
Status
Unmarried

Prospectsnone in mind

02 · The options

Two options, sketched, naturally, as a tree.

ChildrenA constant companionA homeMusic & chit-chatFreedomClever men at clubsMoney for booksEvenings to read Marry Not Marry C.D., July 1838

03 · What matters

Five things matter. Time cancels out.

CriterionMarry saysNot Marry says
Time “but terrible loss of time” “Loss of time”
Company “Constant companion, (& friend in old age)” “Conversation of clever men at clubs”
Freedom Silent “Freedom to go where one liked”
Money Silent “less money for books &c”
Health “These things good for one's health” “very bad for ones health to work too much”

04 · The honest case for each side

Not Marry has more specimens. Marry has the type specimen.

Marry6 specimens

  • M.1 Proles optata Children (if it Please God)
  • M.2 Socius constans Constant companion, (& friend in old age)
  • M.3 Amata ludens object to be beloved & played with
  • M.4 · Type Canis superatus better than a dog anyhow
  • M.5 Domus curata Home, & someone to take care of house
  • M.6 Musica garrula Charms of music & female chit-chat

Not Marry9 specimens

  • N.1 Libertas vagans Freedom to go where one liked
  • N.2 Clubbus clarus Conversation of clever men at clubs
  • N.3 Cognati evitati Not forced to visit relatives
  • N.4 Rixa possibilis perhaps quarelling
  • N.5 Tempus perditum Loss of time
  • N.6 Vesper sine libro cannot read in the Evenings
  • N.7 Pinguedo otiosa fatness & idleness
  • N.8 Libri pauci less money for books &c
  • N.9 Panis lucrandus forced to gain one's bread

05 · Check the columns

His case against marrying began with four lines for it.

Not Marry

  1. No children, (no second life),
  2. no one to care for one in old age.
  3. What is the use of working without
  4. sympathy from near & dear friends,
  5. who are near & dear friends to the old,
  6. except relatives

Freedom to go where one liked

Filed in the wrong column

06 · The costs we'd regret

A balloon ride loses to a neuter bee's life.

If he marries, he never should

  • know French
  • see the Continent
  • go to America
  • go up in a Balloon
  • take solitary trip in Wales

If he doesn't

  • like a neuter bee, working, working, & nothing after all
  • smoky dirty London House
  • groggy old age, friendless & cold, & childless

07 · The test: re-weight it

Weight it however you like. It still says Marry.

CriterionYour weight

5
2
10
10
6
Old age, friendless & coldWeighted by the author Locked

Points

Marry141

Not Marry209

Verdict

Marry

Recounted, with the locked row.

Never mind my boy. Cheer up.

It being proved necessary to Marry

Marry, Mary, Marry. Q.E.D.

09 · The next step

Next: when? The Governor, his father, says soon.

When? Soon or Late

  1. 01otherwise bad if one has children
  2. 02one's character is more flexible
  3. 03one's feelings more lively
  4. 04one misses so much good pure happiness

10 · What happened next

He proposed that November. She said yes.

10 children

  1. July 1838 The note. Marry, Q.E.D.
  2. 29 July 1838 At Maer, tells Emma his ideas on species
  3. 11 Nov 1838 Proposes to his cousin, Emma Wedgwood. Yes.
  4. 29 Jan 1839 Married at St Peter's Church, Maer
  5. 1842 Moves the family to Down House
  6. 1859 On the Origin of Species
  7. 1882 Married until his death, 43 years on